Looking back I think I was starting to become unwell during the latter part of my pregnancy. Three weeks after a cesarean section I was suffering very high temperatures which it became apparent was due to post op complications. At about this time I was beginning to recognise signs of depression as I had suffered clinical depression some years previously.
It was such a taboo subject that even my own husband didn’t want me to talk to the health visitor about how I was feeling. However, I knew that I had the best chance for a quick recovery if I sought help sooner rather than later. I had a wonderful health visitor who helped me and my husband understand and accept that I was Ill!
Nothing to be ashamed of, just a breakdown in physiological process. I started medication straight away &; although the first three weeks seemed to drag on forever I can clearly remember the day started to actually feel affection for my little girl. I sobbed out of sheer joy and relief. Some people still feel that it’s a shame I had to resort to medication but all I know is that Erin got back the Mummy I wanted her to have and ll never regret that.
Having someone to talk to regularly on the end of the phone from the Herts PNI support group helped me to survive the darker days, giving me reassurance that I would get better until I could see the light at the end of the tunnel for myself, For that, Erin and I will be eternally grateful.